Category archive: Humour

Miscellany – April

 “Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.” ― said  President  Herbert Hoover  nearly a century ago.   It was if he was addressing his present day successor Donald Trump’s inadequate response to the Covid-19 pandemic.

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Remember radio  when it was – King?  

Before television, families gathered each night around the essential piece of lounge furniture – a stylish floor level radio console (perhaps branded Atwater Kent or Gulbransen) – or faced the ornate mantle model (Philco), waiting with expectation for the crackling  radio valves to warm up.

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Be kind she said…

At first  they nodded and smiled as usual on our daily walks. Nothing unusual there, it’s our neighbourhood.

But then the pandemic arrived and didn’t  leave.  For a few days  we were confused and offered the same  greetings, though we all knew nothing would  ever be the same.

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Popcorn

My daughter named him Popcorn, a cockatiel that came into my possession as a present some years ago. There are many things that come into the unwise-present category, and animals come near the top of the list.

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Miscellany – February

Bushfires still burn in Oz; Brexit vexited the Brits, and in America a new King was  crowned   by Republican Senators.  You could sense an uprising to  the elevation of  President Donald to King Donald. Tears flowed and jeers echoed on both sides of  the Atlantic, courtesy of  television. These were passionate  issues and sometimes you had to pause to  wonder who, or what, lay behind them.

But no worries,  because Down Under the Aussies showed that their sense of humour couldn’t be extinguished….

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A Christmas beer with a beard

Credit: BBC

Had a beer with a  beard  the other day  to celebrate the relentless commercial  onset of Christmas.   The beard was my old friend’s familiar trademark  and I told him once more  how much it suited him.

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‘The next time you see it will be when you die…’

He boarded the outbound 737 from Auckland looking out of place and time.

He was a Buddhist monk, replete with flowing brown  robes, practical sandals and on his  left wrist, corded bangles. Not a sober sort, he joked with other  passengers  as he settled into his seat.  One asked him what religion he belonged to.  A pause.

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60’s school reunions

Like many other New Zealanders of my age,  I was weaned on innumerable cinema and television versions of American high school experiences; films such as Grease, Fame, Mean Girls, Donnie Darko,  and TV programmes such as Freaks and Geeks, Happy Days, Beverly Hills 90210 and Room 222.  There is also a long-established sub-genre in the school reunion movie, with films like Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, Peggy Sue Got Married, Grosse Point Blank and Class Reunion spinning tales of rekindled lusts, long delayed revenge enacted, and various levels of disappointment.

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Grandma and the goat

‘Have a beer’, said a friend recently. ‘No thanks, juice will be fine’, I replied. Remembering me as a keen beer drinker, he looked bemused. ‘I’ve become a bit of a wowser, these days. Grandma would be proud of me.’

On another recent occasion, I was offered a glass of wine by one of my quiz night teammates. All the other members were imbibing. ‘No thanks. lemon, lime and bitters, will be fine. I don’t touch the stuff these days. Grandma would be proud of me.’

‘What you mean – your grandma would be proud of you?’ one asked. And so began my tale.

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