Category archive: Humour

Neat and tidy

how-to-clean-a-dirty-ovenI tested the kitchen smoke alarm a couple of weekends ago. Baking an apple and boysenberry cake, the topping, dots of butter sprinkled with muscovado sugar, melted, oozed through the dodgy base of my aging spring form tin and began to burn.

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Fashion Olympics…

olympicThe show-prayer fashion was everywhere this year. Why appeal to your maker in the changing-room or tunnel when you can do it front of millions? This is a special God, after all, a biased God, your own personal God who’s here for you, not the other blokes lining up beside you.

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Now we’re past 60…

  • People call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you ? “
  • You can live without sex but not your glasses.
  • You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.

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‘A little discomfort?’

OuchMe and the dentist are strangers but I know I’m in good company there. It’s  not the childhood memories – though these linger  and range from the  scary  whine of the drill to  the dull ache which often followed.  It’s not the  money  either (okay,  it is) – dental work these days is  brutally expensive.

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Pop songs revisited

Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the “Limbo” as if it were yesterday.
They include:

Bobby Darin —
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ A Flash

Helen Reddy —
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore 

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A day in the life of Nick Smith

7:34 am

Ah yes, the delights of Auckland. This city is a second home to me. Look how prosperous the inhabitants are, how well everyone appears to be doing.

Look at that family over there sleeping in their car. It’s a bit cramped with Mum, Dad and the four kids squeezed in, but I remember when I first got onto the property ladder. You don’t start out by buying the biggest and most expensive accommodation. You start small. Those people have the right idea.

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