Category archive: Miscellany

May miscellany

It’s a rugged way to end up – from being loved to bits to being forgotten and dumped along with the week’s other trash. Let’s hope some teddy lover got to him/her before the rubbish truck…

**********

Continue reading

Max’s Dogs – the grandes dames

Dog JacketMrs Patrick Campbell was one of the grandest of Britain’s grandes dames of the theatre. G.B. Shaw wrote the role of Eliza Dolittle in Pygmalion for her. A devoted dog lover, she brooked no interference or criticism about taking one or two of her pets everywhere with her. On one occasion, clutching her pet while exiting a London taxi, she was confronted by the irate driver who complained that her dog had ‘lost control’ and left a mess. Mrs Campbell drew herself up, looked him in the eye and said firmly ‘I did it’. She then swept away.

Continue reading

March miscellany

The rains were coming, unusually, and the peaches we’d  been monitoring  in the burning  sun for weeks were flushed and  ripe on  our neighbour’s tree.  She invited us to take as many as we liked  because she didn’t want the birds to snaffle these delights. Neither did we, and so in her backyard  Griff welcomed me and watched as I took to a loaded branch with a six foot bamboo pole. 

Continue reading

Miscellany – Of words and oranges and lambs…

Feel like some wordplay  for the festive season?  Well try  these from the Washington Post  for a giggle.  The newspaper published a  contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. These were some of the  winning entries:

Negligent, (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie

Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.

Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n)  a humorous question on an exam.

Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Pokemon (n.) a Jamaican proctologist.

Circumvent (n.) the opening  in the front of boxer shorts.

Willy-nilly (adj,) impotent.

Continue reading

Miscellany – October

Doesn’t seem to matter where you are in the world, there’s often another Kiwi close at hand. Even in the ‘60s long before mass travel a friend arrived in London and, walking down Earl’s Court Road one day, bumped into the last person he expected to see – a high school classmate.

Continue reading

Miscellany – September

Spotted: Not  the sort of thing you’d expect in a suburban Street.    Certainly not in a nobby Epsom avenue.  But things   change.    After  another day’s  downpour in this waterlogged Spring,  a Gypsy woman  emerged from one of the  street’s impeccable   gardens.  

Continue reading

Yey! It’s official – we’re a happy lot!!

Good news for  Enzed: we came eighth in World Happiness, one ahead of Australia and Sweden, according to the  Sustainable  Development Solutions Network for the UN.

Happiest  country  of all was Norway,  followed by Denmark, Iceland and Switzerland in a tightly packed bunch. All of the top four countries rank highly on all the main factors found to support happiness: caring, freedom, generosity, honesty, health, income and good governance. Norway has insulated itself from the boom and bust cycle of many other resource-rich economies.

Continue reading

May miscellany

After kiwiboomers contributor Ann Andrews’ story we also wondered about why people lie.

There’s an annual  World’s Biggest Liar  Competition… The website Mental Floss wrote: …held since the 19th century, the World’s Biggest Liar competition owes its origin to a pub owner named Will Ritson, who was known for the fantastic stories he would tell to keep his patrons entertained—and drinking longer. One of his most famous lies was that turnips planted in the region grew so big that people had to “quarry” into them for their Sunday lunch, and afterward, the mammoth root veggies were used as sheds for sheep. http://mentalfloss.com/article/89006/winner-2016-worlds-biggest-liar-competition

**********

 

Miscellany April

First an editorial confession. We’ve been in Oz, but no, there’s no ball tampering copy here, just this:

Condom machine graffiti: ‘ For refund, insert baby here’.

Aussies are not so much a weird as a witty mob at times. Where some residents with dogs might put up a sign saying ‘Beware of dog’, others choose to let passers-by know with much more precision. Take this for example:  ‘My dog can make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds. Can you?’

Continue reading