Recent isolation, and advancing years has led me to reflect on “THE MEANING OF LIFE?” and “WHAT HAVE I LEARNED ABOUT LIVING”?
As the famous song says,”What’s it all about Alfie”?
(In the interests of cordial marital relations it may not be a good idea to show your wife or partner this list!!!!)
- What is it about holding the TV remote at night that makes men doze off?
- Why are crumbs you leave behind for your wife to clean up, the source of criticism on a par with dropping the Atomic bomb?
- It’s not very onerous helping with the weekly shopping at the supermarket but what rule allows you the right to trail at least two aisles behind your wife?
- Why is it always the woman’s job to clean up after the cat has been sick on the carpet?
- Why is life so cruel when during a lifetime of marriage , the mayonnaise you buy at the supermarket never tastes as good as the one your Mother used to make using Highlander condensed milk?
- Is there any man in the Universe that has made the bed to his wife’s satisfaction?
- Two observations about cars: Why is it you will clean your new or new used car more times in the first two months than you do for the rest of its life; and what is it about car ownership that creates the aversion all men have to checking tyre pressure?
- Of all the exercises suggested by fitness and Health experts and gurus which is the one that men over 65 consider the most effective? (Answer) Sucking in their beer bellies when approached by an attractive 25 year old female!
- Why is it in almost ten times out of ten when a man says to his wife ,”I’ll take you out to coffee”…that she pays!
- Why is the front of a new shirt or newly washed jersey put on just this morning, a magnet for soup, coffee or stew/ (sometimes all three).
- In life we all harbour at least one guilty secret; one that preys on the mind and surfacing at the most unlikely of times. I now confess mine.
I once went to MacDonalds! (Oh, the shame). But more is to come – I enjoyed it!!!!
- and to end “LIFE’S LIKE THAT”, a personal anecdote that may ring a bell.
All of us over 70 have experienced international air travel, finished the “plastic” breakfast and prepared to land at some exotic airport, BUT, leaving it late to visit the toilet. (Sound familiar?)
You join a queue of at least ten people and desperation begins to become an issue. The queue inches slowly forward as you begin to suspect that someone must be raising the Titanic or building a replica of the Eiffel Tower in each of the available toilets
Then seconds before “Niagara” bursts its banks, a toilet becomes available.
What follows is a look on your face of such relief, comfort and pure enjoyment duplicated probably only once previously in your married life. (But this is not the time to reflect on your honeymoon!!)
After all these observations I am reminded of the lyrics of the brilliant Peggy Lee song when she sings about life,
“IS THAT ALL THERE IS?”